Childlike Attachment And Its Significance For Adult Life

A healthy childlike attachment is of great importance. In this way the child can develop into a healthy adult on a psychological level. Because if there is a lack of affection, it will show in future relationships

The child bond is the foundation for the emotional attachment and certain behaviors. The first stages of life are fundamental and have a great influence on future relationships.

The important thing is to find a balance and not make any exceptions. Because  particularly pampering behaviors or excessive protection have just as negative effects as a complete lack of affection, attention or hugs.

Childlike attachment is one of the basic needs

The filial bond allows the brains of children that it develops in a natural and healthy way.

Thanks to this bond, certain dynamics are solidified. Above all, this has an impact on the way you build relationships or behave in contact with others.

For example, there are parents who do not think about their children, who move away from them, or couples who are in a dysfunctional relationship. In this case, it is very likely that your children will behave particularly insecure in future relationships.

Safety is especially important in the first few years of life. In this way you can later have healthy relationships that do not lead to emotional dependence.

For example, there are cases when children suffer greatly from the separation of their parents. In these cases, during the development of the child’s bond, the parents concentrate primarily on themselves.

Most of the time  , the parents ignore their children because they assume that they “do not notice any of the difficulties”. In this way, children can develop problems such as relationship anxiety.

Kinds of filial attachment

1. The secure bond

In this type of bond , parents always look after their children and respond appropriately to their emotional needs.  They do not ignore their children, show affection and always seek contact.

However, this does not mean only reacting to situations like “give me a kiss” or “hug me”. Even if the youngsters don’t want something, or if they don’t like something, the contact and the necessary attention must be there.

2. The insecure-ambivalent bond

In this case of childlike attachment , the parents are cordial, but don’t know how to show it.

For this reason, there is less contact, such parents feel less empathetic with their children and there is a certain distance.

In addition, there is one more important thing about this type of bond. The behavior towards the child is determined by a negative motivation. This means that the child’s mistakes are constantly discussed, but there is no praise for good things.

This bond can lead to a lack of self-confidence.

3. The insecure-avoidant bond

In this case, the children are clearly rejected. The parents display particularly unpleasant behavior.

The unsafe-avoidant bond  arises especially with parents who are unhappy, have alcohol problems or when it comes to abuse.

In this case, the child is completely unimportant and subordinate, it is usually treated as if it were invisible or viewed as a burden.

Behaviors like rejection are commonplace, as is punishment. The child senses the anger and that it is not wanted. Therefore this is reflected in his later relationships, where he is usually disappointed.

4. The insecure-disorganized bond

If this is the case , there is abuse and manipulation within the family. Most of all, this happens within the parents’ relationship. 

The child feels a great disorientation. Because it wants to get closer to its reference person, but this is in reality the cause of the manipulation; therefore the child feels fear towards the parents and there is a great incoherence.

This shows up in his later relationships. Because such a child is not sure what he wants. It didn’t learn to love. Manipulation and control often become current behavior in their lives.

As you can certainly see, the childlike bond is of particular importance. Because it is the root of all those problems that arise in relationships that one has in adult life.

This is why it is imperative to develop a healthy child bond. Because it is the parents with whom one takes the first steps in the socialization and formation of relationships.

The balance plays a key role here: protection in excess, like a lack of affection, has a very negative effect.

One of the most obvious consequences is becoming dependent on others, not just for the attention needed, but also for seeking reassurance.

Not all are gifted with healthy attachment in childhood. Nevertheless, you can work on yourself and achieve changes even in adulthood.

For example , you can learn to improve frustrating or particularly painful relationships. Because these are nothing more than consequences of childhood, in which the bond could not develop in a corresponding way.