Bad Treatment By Partner: What To Do?

A word of contempt, an insult or a humiliating remark hurts just as intensely as a blow. But what to do if a person is mistreated by their partner who uses aggressive language?

The closer and more loving the relationship with a person, the more impact their words have. Various comments or statements can be particularly painful in this case. Many complain about the bad treatment  in a relationship, about humiliating words or disrespectful remarks.

But what is the best way to deal with this situation? Under no circumstances should you allow  this type of behavior to develop into a habit in your relationship. Aggressive or humiliating statements are to be equated with abuse and hurt as intensely as a blow. Living together in an aggressive environment for months (or years) has serious psychological effects.

Bad treatment and its consequences

Usually verbal aggression develops gradually. In the beginning, the comments often start with a joke or are sarcastic remarks that express disdain for the other person. Irony often  conceals very humiliating or aggressive statements. A smile then accompanies the sentence “my darling, that was not what was meant”.

But these behaviors gradually become more common, break the silence and become more intense, until the person concerned finally realizes that the partner’s words are actually blows that destroy self-esteem and dignity.

Bad treatment is not always immediately apparent

Love is not enough in a relationship because it can also hurt and cause distress to the partner. Love can be misinterpreted or exercised, which in time leads to disaster.

Good communication is essential for a relationship to fulfill both partners, make them happy and last for a long time. Both parties must be able to make agreements, build an emotional connection, and appreciate and respect one another.

However, this is not always the case,  and the sooner people become aware of it, the more suffering they save themselves. It is important to know who deserves time, effort and caresses and who does not. Many are unaware that it is some form of abuse.

Others do not want to accept that poor treatment by their partner is very likely to indicate an abusive relationship. We will then go into a little more detail on this topic.

What are the signs of improper communication?

Scientific studies carried out at Case Western University in Cleveland (USA) show that between 50 and 80 percent of all people suffer from emotional abuse at some point in their life. Abusive communication and verbal aggression are unfortunately very common and keep coming back.

The following signs indicate this:

• The perpetrator makes fun of his victim.
• He makes value judgments about the person concerned without understanding them.
• In addition, he reacts aggressively and with insults, almost without being aware of why he is acting this way.
• He uses irony and sarcasm to cause harm to the person concerned. The perpetrator does not doubt that he is ridiculing his victim in front of others.
• He shows no empathy and makes the victim feel guilty.
• His communication style is dominant and he humiliates his victim.

Bad treatment by partner: what to do

Various studies, such as a research by the Faculty of Physics at the University of Georgia (USA), show  that good communication guarantees satisfaction in a relationship. But as mentioned earlier, in addition to love, affection, and sincere dialogue, other factors are essential in a happy relationship, for example on an emotional level.

So if the partner uses verbal aggression, you must not tolerate it under any circumstances. You have to strengthen your self-esteem and provide emotional balance. Even the smallest abuse has a major impact: pain, discomfort and unhappiness are the consequences. But what can you do in this situation?

What is behind verbal aggression?

It is always important to know the reasons for verbal abuse. Is your partner going through a very difficult time? Does the person not know how to deal with nervousness and stress?

In some cases, professional problems, personal trauma, or other factors can lead to aggressiveness. It is therefore important to get to the bottom of the causes for this behavior. Sometimes, however, it is not just a passing behavior, but rather the personality of a person for whom verbal abuse is made a habit.

Assertive behavior: what I expect from you and what I cannot tolerate

If your partner doesn’t treat you appropriately, you can’t just endure or condone it. If you don’t point it out to him, it will go on and become a habit. The verbal aggression increases over time. It is therefore very important to be assertive and to set limits.

You need to be clear about what word, phrase, comment, or conversation is hurting you. You must also point out to your partner that  this behavior must not be repeated. Give examples of what to expect: respect, understanding, empathy, complicity, listening, agreement.

Bad treatment: you have to make a decision!

Aggressive, humiliating words hurt at least as much as a punch or other physical aggression. Verbal aggression is psychological abuse that we cannot tolerate. If your partner’s behavior doesn’t change, you need to make a decision.

If you break up with the relationship in time, you can save yourself a lot of suffering, your self-esteem and your dignity. You must not allow intolerable behavior. Authentic love doesn’t hurt, on the contrary. Respectful, honest communication and a deep emotional connection are the fundamentals of any relationship. You should always be aware of this.