Microaggressions Of The Enemies Of Relationships

Microaggressions often disguise themselves with loving words, but over time they can still attack the self-esteem.

Microaggression is a hidden form of psychological abuse. They work on the basis of daily and recurring disdain on the part of the partner.

Often micro-aggressions hidden in jokes to the other one by one to take the self-respect.

It is a form of abuse that is rarely discussed. On the one hand because it is not obvious and leaves no traces, on the other hand because often neither the practitioners nor the victims are aware of the destructive behavior they are exposed to.

To better understand what we are talking about, let us give some examples.

Too often it happens that men as well as women out of habit say things to their partner like: “I am always happy what a fool you are”, “You always brighten my day with your mistakes and bullies”.

“It’s better if I talk, otherwise you’ll just screw everything up again”, “Don’t do it, you’d better not do it, it’s best if I do it, otherwise you’ll just break everything with your clumsy hands”.

It is easy to see that these are situations in which something loving resonates and the closeness between the partners is certainly also expressed.

Nevertheless, these statements lead to one partner remaining in control and denying it to the other. 

Today we invite you to take a closer look at this topic. This is the only way to become fully aware of these behaviors and react accordingly.

Characteristics of “microaggressions”

The relationship between a couple is built on a few basic pillars: respect, understanding, empathy, intimacy, and concern.

If one of these pillars fails, the others begin to wobble as well. Because without good communication, for example, true empathy can never arise and without empathy there can be no authentic sympathy.

A healthy and happy relationship is like a solid woven fabric made of many different colors, all of which harmonize with one another. In which the differences are respected, because there is a balance in the interplay of the threads, the embroidery and the different materials.

Accordingly, the microaggressions work as if you were pulling a thread day after day. Until it finally tears and leaves small holes, whereby harmony and happiness are lost.

We present the most important characteristics to you here.

Disregard and underestimation

Disregard and underestimation show up in an openly demonstrated disinterest in the partner.

For this reason, it is also a form of microaggression that is used in a recurring manner every day.

Here are a few small examples of how one of the most common enemies can express themselves in a relationship:

• To ridicule something that the partner likes.
• Don’t give small touches that keep the relationship going.
• Never having time to do things the partner likes: no moment is good enough.
• Expressing yourself ironically to other people about the things your partner likes (“he just reads all day, what a waste of time”).

Degrade your partner by portraying them as a clumsy man

This is without a doubt the most common form in which microaggressions show.

This fact becomes complex because such behavior is initially accepted.

This means that one can initially assume that it is an innocent comment, a way of showing affection or attention from the partner.

Here are some examples to think about.

• One of the partners suddenly begins to worry about things because he claims “to do them better than the other and thus make the other’s work easier” .
• It is also common for one partner to speak publicly in front of friends or family members about the shortcomings the other “allegedly” has. “He just can’t cook, every plate he picks up breaks, with the computer he always creates complete chaos …”

• All of these things are nerve-wracking and extremely harmful behaviors to one’s identity and self-esteem.

Increasing lack of trust in the partner

When you feel the effects of microaggression, you will also notice many personal changes at the same time.

In addition to noticeably dwindling self-esteem. It often happens that you become more and more aware that trust in your partner is also decreasing.

• You stop doing certain activities out of fear of being rejected or criticized.
• You are no longer able to communicate with your partner in a pleasant way, because the other person’s language is always full of ironic taunts that hurt.

Likewise, when exposed to such poor treatment, it is common for a person to be slow to respond.

This is because we believe that abuse only takes place when someone turns a hand or even words against us, or when the voice becomes louder or even our freedom is restricted.

Microaggressions are a hidden attack that is barely noticeable. Still, they are a form of aggression that should not be overlooked, mainly for the following reasons:

• They are based on contempt.
• It’s about belittling the other in order to gain more power yourself.
• They prevent the other from simply being themselves, from being able to feel complete and happy because they are who they are.

• It doesn’t depend on the skills you have, your strengths or successes. The other person will use the microaggressions to make all of this seem void.

Let’s learn to recognize microaggression and, above all, let’s be brave enough to face it appropriately.